The following is what you can call “Reality Therapy”. The decade of the twenties is likely to be the most intense, most energetic, most painful, and most profound decade of someones life. You hopefully will exit your 20s to greater things, but the decade is a formative time for almost everyone. You learn these realities on your own timeline. And you will learn them

And you will learn them

1. There is no arbitrary age in your 20s in which you “figure it all out”. The greater reality is that unless you actively and willfully take control of your life and environment, your 20s will be a reactive decade of you learning the hard way, the painful way, and having equal amounts fun and despair. The learning does not cease, nor does the passage of time. If you want security, you have to create it yourself

2. There is always someone better than you, taller than you, faster than,  smarter than you, and better looking than you.You need to get the fuck over this. For people that come from small towns and environments, or insulated upbringings, the realization that you are not special can be a mean one. Facts over feelings. You get measured by what you produce and create, and fairness is for cowards. If your ego is built upon exceptionality, you will be humbled, and harshly.

3. If you have debt, TAKE CARE OF IT AS SWIFTLY AS POSSIBLE.Student loans weigh down your credit, as does anything you pay for with credit. If you use credit to buy anything, pay it back immediately. Do not live beyond your means. Good credit opens doors later on, bad credit is penance you pay that delays opportunity

4. You can work hard and it amounts to nothing.There is no prize for doing what is asked of you. Showing up for a job is a basic requirement. Completing projects is what you were hired to do. The minimum is the minimum. If you want to stand out, you need to be exceptional, not just competent. And even if you are exceptional, you are probably still replaceable.5. Money is your scorecard. If this upsets, you are a fucking loser. Making money and being financially secure solves all the problems that a lack of money and financial destitution create. Learn skills that pay bills.  Have a high credit score, start some assets if you can like basic mutual funds, roth iras, life insurance, bluechips etc.

5. No one is going to save you, and everything is your fault.Either be empowered by this or ruined by it. Total responsibility will be either the best or worst thing to ever happen to you depending on your attitude.

6. Small decisions have long term consequences.You cannot take anything back what you said or did, and stupid decisions can set you back or ruin you. Seemingly smart decisions can be disastrous as well, and you will find that out that you are dumb and 25 and sure as fuck don’t know as much as you thought you did. This is part of the process of living. So long as you haven’t been eaten and you are not dead, you keep going.8. Your parents were probably wrong about things. So too were mentors, teachers, and other people you looked up to in childhood. Your heroes were probably flawed. You will see the bad guy win at times. The good guys will turn out to be con artists and sociopaths. The world is not a binary, black and white place of heroes and villains.

7. Holding grudges and fighting with people makes life bitter.Learn to let go and move on and leave it behind. The number of people who will pass in and out of your life is more than you’ll ever imagine

8. If you do have to fight with somebody though, utterly destroy them.Leave no doubt in their mind or their circle that fucking with you is like throwing knives into the wind.

9. Disney romances do not exist, so stop using that as a filter.Puppy love is powerful, moving, fleeting, and usually makes you into an idiot. You will make stupid decisions thinking with your dick and because your brain decided to lust really really hard. Don’t be stupid more than you need to be to learn not to be stupid.

10. You will lose friends, friends that you thought you would know forever.You will be fucked over by somebody, someone you thought you could trust with anything. You will be lied to, and you thought you know this person through and through. Get over it. Seriously, get the fuck over it. You are not going to get absolution for most things, and moving on works fat better than staying on something and not being able to let it go. 

11. No one owes you shit, and your entitlement is unbecoming. Also useless. Either you earn it or you don’t deserve it. People that get thing they don’t deserve are role models on how not to live, not on what to do.

12. You probably can’t have it all, and you will need to pick and choose what matters most.Deciding what your priorities are will require some concentrated and objective decision making. Not everything you want is worth having, or is realistic to have.

13. You do not have forever to do the things you want to do.You do NOT have all the time in the world. This attitude will fuck you over with every passing year you cling to it.

14. Unless you are a genius and keystone cog in a machine, you are replaceable at most jobs you do. Either be exceptional or be easily fired. Or create your own business. This requires learning lots of things, most of which experience will kick your teeth in on if you don’t learn them. If you want to be self made, you must be self paid

16. Get the fuck over having to be right about everything. You’ve barely lived, you don’t know anything. Losers love to be right, because then they don’t have to learn anything

17. Maintaining meaningful relationships is harder than you think.Good friends are hard to find, harder to keep. As for romance, take the redpill gentleman. Friends that last a lifetime are few number, and weak ties you make can change your life in surprising ways. Enjoy the people you meet along your particular way.

18. You have to keep learning. Simple, but people fight it. Your failures are always your fault, learn why. If you “success” that has to outweigh failure at some point, and that won’t come by knowing only what you what you know right now.

19. Just getting by requires work.Success take more. None of this gets “easier” just because time passes, you just better and more capable (hopefully).

20. Build skills, but set grandiose goals still. Work for something that will take you to a new edge of who you are. Go over the edge a few times, learn where that edge, is and how to push it without falling. Optimism makes for an easier life than pessimism, and positivity has power. If you rolled your eyes at that, grow the fuck up.